Air travel this thanksgiving should be pretty smooth...
what little there is of it.
Airlines have cut back on flights...
and passengers have cut back on flying.
But President Bush today announced an express-lane system
for air travelers in the Midwest, and along the entire east coast.
That loveable we’re-more-Christian-than-you group
known as Focus on the Family, is—in this economy—
laying off about 20 percent of its workforce.
Business is down at the company run by James Dobson, in Colorado Springs.
Especially, with the successful banning of gay marriage in California.
The group spent a half-million dollars on the Prop-Nine push—
a mere drop in the twenty million dollar bucket
thrown at the issue by the Mormons—but, financially devastating
to Dobson’s fading foundation.
In suburban Kansas City, a medical lab is inviting couples-on-dates
to include a visit to their std clinic,
as part of the evening’s festivities.
Med-Express Labs of Overland Park is proud of this promotion...
and promises to have the results back to you...in just 48 hours.
In Bloomfield Indiana, male and female prison inmates have been caught...
crawling through the ceiling to each other’s housing units...for sex.
The prisoners pried open the metal security tiles in the ceiling,
and did so in a security camera blind-spot.
The world’s fattest man has finally gotten some...
thanks to a special ramp, built for him by his friends.
Manuel Uribe of Mexico finally got to consummate his marriage
to Claudia Solis, after two frustrating weeks.
Manuel’s friends say they got the idea from an American product known as
The Liberator—a foam wedge that allows couples to try new positions.
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